Two Thousand and Twelve

The beginning of a year always feels weird to me.  Is it the letdown of the extreme, months-long Christmas hype being over with the snap of two fingers?  (Well, I guess it would be one thumb and one finger.)  Is it the uncertainty that the coming year brings?  For me, it’s always a bit awkward, like I suddenly can’t find my footing, and it takes awhile to get “comfortable” with the new year.

Two thousand and twelve years since the birth of Christ.  That sounds old, but is it?  As much as science wants to claim it knows everything, or try to LEARN everything, the truth is that, when you think about it, we don’t know if our world is “old” or not.  Been around for a long time?  Sure, but we don’t know the timeline Earth has as a whole.  Every day that the sun rises, this planet is older than it’s ever been.  I mean, duh.  Same with us.  I’m older now than I was when I started typing this sentence.  But the difference between human beings and the planet is that we know the general length of time we can be expected to live, unless illness or accident should take us before our bodies give out.  We don’t know if 2012 is as old as the earth is going to get, or if people will laugh at those silly Mayans in the year 1023984789323.  As a Christian, I believe it when the Bible says that Jesus will return “like a thief in the night ” – no one knows when it’ll happen – but even people who share my faith seem to think that the world is ending if they live through an earthquake or five.

But this post isn’t supposed to be about the end of the world.  Goodness knows I am so incredibly sick of hearing people theorizing and joking about that, I don’t really care to think about it ever again.

This post is about a new year, and some of the things I hope to accomplish in it.

Now, I’m not going to post a list of resolutions.  It’s come to the point where I cringe at the word, it having become a colloquialism for “something I would like to do but have already accepted that I will eventually fail at.”  (Sorry, Churchill, couldn’t think of a non-awkward way to not end that sentence with a preposition.)  I am simply going to go through some little and some not-so-little goals of mine that I sure hope will happen this year.

*I would like to no longer be afraid of my sewing machine.  Sure, I use it all the time, but the poor thing probably gets so bored with doing straight stitches and zigzag stitches when there are so many other possibilities.  I’d like to learn to insert a zipper, snaps, multiple buttonholes (one is easy enough, but spacing multiple buttonholes and buttons apart evenly so that the garmet/what have you fastens the way it should is a whole other animal).  I’d like to be confident in sewing instead of biting my lip and hoping for the best.

*I’d like to get good at the piano again.  I played for seven-and-a-half years, then my teacher stopped teaching and I had to go to another teacher.  My new teacher didn’t like that I’d never learned to sight read (I play by ear) and took it upon herself to teach me.  I just wanted to play songs I liked; I wasn’t interested in being able to say I had some technical skill (that, yes, I probably should have had anyway, but I don’t really care).  Learning under her was more difficult than learning piano in the first place had been.  So, being a stubborn seventeen-year-old, I quit, and though I have a very nice keyboard, I haven’t touched its keys in years.  We’ve recently moved it into the living room and I hope to bring it to life once again.

*I’d like to declare Ryan and myself debt-free.  We are well on our way, having paid off our credit card and my car in 2011.  After the rest of my school loans, we’ll be debt-free.  (This doesn’t include the house we still own in Oklahoma – grumbleeconomygrumble.  Anyone need a 3-bed, 2-bath in Broken Arrow?)

*I’d like to cure myself of my paralyzing fear of snakes.  “Paralyzing” is the key word.  I accept that I will always have at least a healthy fear of snakes, but I want it to be just that – healthy.  No more seeing a tiny, harmless snake and reacting by jumping ten feet into the air, screaming, sobbing, hyperventilating, fleeing the scene and refusing to ever go back to that particular location, and subsequently having nightmares for weeks that there are snakes chasing me and I can only move in slow motion, or not at all.  I want to be able to go on hikes, nature walks, into the woods, etc without gearing myself up as if I’m facing my own gruesome death.

*I’d like to blog more – and I’d like it to be because I want to, not because I’m playing to some audience that I’m really hoping exists.  I’d like to not care whether what I blog about is interesting to a lot of people.  If I feel the need to express something, I want to do it without criticizing myself about it.  I will have great days and weeks and months.  I will have bad days and weeks and months.  I will blog.

*I’d like to make exercise a consistent priority in my life.  I’d like to view it positively, maybe even as something fun (gasp), and not as punishment for eating a piece of chocolate cake.  I have no unrealistic goals of never eating this or that again, because I know myself and as soon as I tell myself I’m not allowed to have something, I’ll obsess over that very thing.  As the great Jack Black said in School of Rock, “I like to eat.  Is that so much of a crime?”  Because of this very hobby of mine, I’d like to enrich my life with consistent exercise.

Well, that’s all I can think of for now.  What are some things you’d like to do this year?  The world is young!  Well, that may be entirely false, but I’d rather die believing I have my whole life ahead of me any day.

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